Ep 1 In Skype Calls For The Long Haul | The Pharaoh of Faroe
Nov 7, 2015 7:10:28 GMT
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Post by Johnny on Nov 7, 2015 7:10:28 GMT
Hello, my name is Johnny Poteet. Y'all've seen my introduction video so you know pretty much everything that there is to know about Johnny Poteet, the Man! The Myth! THE LEGEND!
I also go by 'Poteet' now, since there's like five quadrillion Johns in this game so it makes sense to just use last names. But the other John won't, of course, because I might mix him up with the thing that wakes us up. Even though I don't drink coffee... the others probably do.
So we have one burnt Brit amidst us U.S. folk. And we are the Viagra- no, the... Vag- the... Fugver- no, the Fvugwahr tribe. Yea, that's it, according to Google.
And I am integrating... terribly. I'm not an overly social person, I don't enjoy talking. I'm a great listener though. If anyone needs someone to say "There, there" and agree with you as you curse out your boyfriend for breaking up with you the night before prom, I'll be there.
My main priority is to fit in to an alliance. If I can prove myself soon... whether a huge success in the challenge, I manage to bond with a power player... then I can go far.
I'm not here to win. I'm here to smash some skulls. Obliteration is my deed, and annihilation is my will. I plan to go in here and, whether I become villainous and despised or humorous and loved... war will ensure. Chaos is my destiny at this point.
But you can't cause chaos if you can't go far enough to make the moves. I need to get into the majority NOW.
So, allow me to explain the members of my tribe and what I think will allow me to work with each of them. Regan and Kyle, obviously ruled out since there's been no communication, although Kyle has arrived.
Patrick - Keep the jokes coming. This guy enjoys gameplay, yet the other half of what he did on the Skype call was crack some lines. So I need to assist him with his jokes.
Eric - I think Eric wants to lay back and not become a threat. So I have to do my best to chat with him, yet strictly avoid game talk unless I'm approached. I could be wrong on this, as I don't have much of a read on Eric.
Mike - He is similar to Patrick in my point of view. He's just slightly more gamebotty, yet his sense of humor is strong.
John - Maintain casual conversation. I don't think he wants to be approached with gameplay yet, he's looking around for options. And the best options are those who chat with you often.
Joshua - Move to Britain. Nah, in all seriousness... I think he's similar to John. Joshua's a master strategist from what I've picked up... and he wants to hunt down his own alliance and forge his own path.
Lindsey - Join her game. Non-existent studies show that people who are tied together by an ORG are very likely to work together (and I did sign up for S1 and got interviewed so I have a shot).
So Johnny has arrived on the shores
Amidst a battle on figures and lores
Shall a divide occur - Will the chains break
Or will they be cursed for evil's sake
So soon Johnny will rise and no longer be low
As is the method of the 'Pharaoh of Faroe'.
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So Vugwerr (yes, we will all mispronounce this throughout the season), has bonded a small bit in my absence. Hopefully nothing too dangerous, yet I can see a potential alliance forming. Lindsey, Mike, Patrick, and Joshua. I could definitely see those four working well together and that worries me. I mean, I know nothing for certain yet those four just seem exceptionally tight and they could definitely work Coffey or myself into joining them. The thing that worries me is if they work us both. Because if they do that... then they've already dominated this tribe.
The 'Pharaoh of Faroe' won't row into his foe's chosen nonsense.
Rather, he'll pillage and destroy and implement what these bots says.
For the divide is strengthening amongst the strong and the poor
And soon we'll be facing total tribal war
So bring your artillery for soon the bombs will be dropping
Implosions and explosions amongst these gamebots gamebotting
Yet only one will win, but it's not looking like Poteet
That victory would be an impossible feat
Through the knowledge of each other that they've acquired
I feel like my position is already retired
But if I cut the ropes and shatter these bonds
Johnny Boy will come through, can't even yet odd.
(Yes, a Pharaoh of Faroe speech will be in each confessional.)
----
I've chatted a small bit with Kyle, and he's great. He's double my age yet I feel like he and I can chat pretty well. I'm great at one-on-one chats, yet if there's multiple people I pretty much enforce myself as a third wheel. Which allowed me to join my first alliance...
Patrick and Mike. I'm aware how similar they are but both seem to enjoy myself. I don't trust 'em. I'll go with it, sure, but you know me - I'm not here to have happy times. I'm here to corrupt and seep my powerful rays of non-power into their minds, adding pressure until they pop! Like the balloons at my seventh birthday party.
They're great guys, yea. I'll chill with them. But I trust 'em the same as I trust that a cop won't eat a jelly doughnut that's for free. It's bound to happen that they'll turn on Johnny unless I'm their goat... so I have to make myself the puma.
They like grandé Coffey, yet are still unsure on him. Patty Cake doesn't know much on Kyle, but they plan on adding him as a fourth... which is better for me. Kyle seems to trust me way more than the other two so I can use that to my benefit.
The Pharaoh of Faroe has gathered his foes
Soon he shall embark to crack these crows
With the brains of a homeless goldfish
And the brawn of a trillion-times shattered dish
The beauty is unmentionable, for there's a lack
Amongst these hacks left completely out of whack
And soon I will bring them crumbling to their knees
And take their remains and do as I please
They'll suck my blood like petty mosquitoes
For these guys are way saltier than Fritos
----
So the challenge is soon to come, and we've found ourselves a willing outcast/scapegoat. Ronald Regan herself, who mistook us in a Skype call now believes herself on the outs. (She totally is, mwahaha!)
And my trust in Patrick has plummeted from somewhat if I was drunk to completely incoherent. He made an alliance with myself and Mike privately, then on a call between Joshua, Coffey, Patrick, and myself another alliance was made... though I do think the fact that Patrick said he wanted to work with Mike is slightly better.
Yet if he's willing to go ahead and craft these alliances so effortlessly... how many does he have that I'm on the outs of? I've been missing during the early morning calls, since I'm asleep and all. Maybe there's a budding alliance between those early to bed and early to rise.
The Pharaoh of Faroe is bored.
He cannot wait for the tribe to war.
----
Feelin' like
When I make my move, gonna be like
